How many times have you sent out an application for a job and not received a response? Well, the reason for this may be that your resume was too small.
It's true, most resumes today are sent over the internets in tiny, microscopic digital code, with data so delicate and frail that they immediately turn to vapor after being "sent" out into the global information maelstrom. This is a sad, yet real problem, and millions of job-seekers suffer the same plight.
The FSRI has devised a fail-proof solution to this common dilemma:
CREATE THE BIGGEST RESUME EVER!
...And when we say "the biggest", we mean THE BIGGEST! Just as the Great Wall of China and the Hoover Dam can be viewed from space, so should your resume. Find a large tract (say 100 sq miles, or so) of corn or wheat field in any of the Mid-Western states and get to work. Start up the combine and carve your resume into the great swaths of the North American bread basket! When you're done, track your resume down on Google Earth or MSN's TerraServer and then send the link to the companies you like and watch as the job offers pour in! Who knows, with any luck you may even get an interstellar-passerby to shoot you a response!
"Think big," advises the FSRI. "The bigger your resume, the bigger your chances are in getting the job!"
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Here are some steadfast tips from the FSRI on how to obtain employment under today's tumultuous economic conditions. Over the next couple of weeks we'll re-cap some of the proven ways for prospective employees to stake their claim in an increasingly difficult job market.
Remember, when you are looking for a job you are competing with millions of other job-seekers. Take a different route and make that company to find you!
Here is one way to achieve it:
Coordinate and hold a job fair!
Everyone knows that a standard method for employers to find employees is to meet over the neutral ground of a job fair. In YOUR job fair, however, you take center stage. Come up with a glossy pamphlet outlining the annual AAHA (Association for the Advancement of Hireable Applicants) job fair to take place in your local town or city. (You might want to create a website to support this event.) Then, send your pamphlets out to Fortune 100 companies with the event specifics: dates and location, directions, etc... On that morning, before the fair is to begin, set up your "reception" desk (with plenty of extra resumes to go around) in the middle of the conference room floor. When the fair begins watch how these corporate recruiters descend on you, the only job-seeker present, like vultures. None of these representatives wish to return home with empty hands! Be mindful, however, of the position you finally accept. If you are offered a chemical engineering position at "corporation X", for example, you might want to be sure that your background and education suits such a job description.
Good luck and keep a positive attitude. Remember, this is a job you're trying to get and the repercussions may involve hours, weeks, months and years of commitment and hard work. If your up to the task, you're exactly where you need to be!