Your Resume - Grabbing an Employer's Attention

How many times have you sent out an application for a job and not received a response? Well, the reason for this may be that your resume was too small.

It's true, most resumes today are sent over the internets in tiny, microscopic digital code, with data so delicate and frail that they immediately turn to vapor after being "sent" out into the global information maelstrom. This is a sad, yet real problem, and millions of job-seekers suffer the same plight.

The FSRI has devised a fail-proof solution to this common dilemma:

CREATE THE BIGGEST RESUME EVER!

...And when we say "the biggest", we mean THE BIGGEST! Just as the Great Wall of China and the Hoover Dam can be viewed from space, so should your resume. Find a large tract (say 100 sq miles, or so) of corn or wheat field in any of the Mid-Western states and get to work. Start up the combine and carve your resume into the great swaths of the North American bread basket! When you're done, track your resume down on Google Earth or MSN's TerraServer and then send the link to the companies you like and watch as the job offers pour in! Who knows, with any luck you may even get an interstellar-passerby to shoot you a response!

"Think big," advises the FSRI. "The bigger your resume, the bigger your chances are in getting the job!"

Job-Hunting on the Internet

As we have seen, networking can be a valuable tool for someone on the job-hunt. Another effective method of finding corporate work, however, is by "pounding the internet pavement" and joining some of the more prominent service sites that allow prospective employees find work that best serves their talents. Sites such as CareerBuilder.com, Monster.com and HotJobs.com are excellent resources for pairing employer with employee by combining user-friendly formats with up-to-date information on company hiring trends and job market realities. Here you can find practical advice on how to assemble a solid resume, compose a convincing cover-letter and be informed on the latest psychological research that helps you make the right impression during the interview.

WARNING: EXERCISE EXTREME CAUTION WHEN USING INTERNET JOB-HUNTING SERVICES!

Research done in our FSRI labs has proven that use of these "fly-by-night" services may divert attention from FSRI-verified programs and drastically reduce one's ability to fake smart during a job search. Sure, these companies may provide useful information, but they also adhere to theories that remain untested by the FSRI and should be viewed with skepticism. Yes, you may land a job through use of one of these sites, but how much of your success will you be able to attribute to Faking Smart!?

"Take the high road," states the FSRI, "and use internet job-hunting services only as a last resort."

KWA