You're all set to start your day at the office. You've got your latte in your hand and the last couple of morning yawns escape from your mouth as you step up to your cubicle to start your day and - ZAP - it happens.
Out of the corner of your eye you spot somebody that bothers you. You've forgotten all about it, but you quickly remember that this co-worker has really been bothering you lately. It's just going to be another long day at work, you start to think to yourself. If only this person would quit bothering me, I might be able to get something done!
How many times have you encountered this situation before starting your day? If you're like billions upon billions of other people around the globe, you're not alone. Try the following "sure-fire" tactics to put an end to your problem so you can get on with your day and your career and not feel bothered while doing it!
1. Pretend this person doesn't exist: If this person approaches you, look right through him or her as if that person were merely a cloud of air. If another coworker brings up this person's name shake your head and act like you don't understand? Who, you may ask, are they talking about? Research has shown that if you deny somebody's existence, that person will cease to exist! Now, if the person that bothers you is your boss, you might run into trouble when using this tactic.
2. Scream when that person comes near you: It's true, people don't like to be screamed at. If the person who bothers you approaches you to talk or ask a question, scream at the top of your lungs! Do this whenever this person comes near you. Then start doing it whenever this person is in the same room. Soon this person will understand that whenever he or she is near you a large scream is sure to follow. Before you know it this person will never bother you again!
3. Hide whenever you see the person that is bothering you: If ignoring or screaming don't indicate that you are being bothered, try hiding whenever the person that is bothering you comes near. The more you hide, the better you start to learn about the layout of your office. Once you start to know the habits of the person who is bothering you, you can usually be sure to find a place to hide where that person is least likely to be!
4. Tell your boss to fire the person who is bothering you: If your boss doesn't understand the logic behind your request, then ask your boss to transfer or "move" the person bothering you to another location in the company.
5. Tell all your coworkers that aren't bothering you to tell the coworker that is bothering you not to bother you any more: If the person bothering you doesn't get the clue, then, chances are this person will continue to bother you and you should get used to it. Sooner or later, this person will die; and so will you. At that point you won't be bothered by this person any more.
6. Shoot invisible quantum rays at the person: Close your eyes and concentrate. When your level of focus has reached its peak, shoot a series of disruptive quantum rays at the person who is bothering you. If the rays don't disrupt the person, you can feel good anyway because you shot a good dose of quantum rays into this person's head!
7. Find out what the person's name is and call that person by a
8. When the person who bothers you approaches to talk, snort like a pig or bulldog whenever a point is made. Nod frequently and snort. Offer this person a sip from your latte. Poke your finger in this persons ear when they are trying to be serious.
9. When the person bothering you is standing close to you, shake and shiver like you're standing in 20 below cold weather. Do this all the time whenever this person is near you. Also, try laughing out loud whenever you shake and shiver.
10. When the person who is bothering you is hard to find, start looking around the office for this person. If he or she is trying to hide from you, you can be fairly certain that that person won't be bothering you anymore.