Bogota, Colombia - The FSRI announced today that Decateur Thoms, FSRI consultant and recently appointed FSRI Chief of Staff, has resigned. The reasons given for the resignation were provided by Ella Foster, VP of Media Relations. "Decateur's resignation came as a result of time conflicts associated with the position. Apparently, Mr. Thoms finds it difficult to get up before 10:30 a.m. for our regular Monday briefings..."
"That's not true," insisted Mr. Thoms during a telephone interview conducted late last night from his apartment in S.E. Wisconsin. "It's just that I had stuff going on last Sunday and I lost track of time. I got to bed real late. That's all. Whatever, dude..."
At the time of the writing of this article, Karl Wolfbrooks Ager was unreachable for comment.