This is amazing. The FSRI has just uncovered this astounding literature about the code of honor among, yes, CORPORATE ZOMBIES!
1. Never eat your boss.
2. Change set of clothes at least once per month.
3. Be silent when leaving phone message. "Uhhhhhhhh!" is unprofessional.
4. Wait til lunch or after work to "taste" or chew on coworkers.
5. Remember: laptops don't work well covered in bile and drool.
6. Avoid speech: it's embarrassing to yourself and those around you.
7. Be discrete with office romance. No one likes PDAs, especially zombie on zombie PDAs.
8. Don't bite. Settle differences on the squash court.
9. At cocktail parties, find a corner, turn towards it and stay.
10. Yes, you're stupid and unhappy. You're a corporate zombie, get used to it!
KWA and the FSRI
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