Thursday, March 24, 2011


We all know what it's like to fly these days.  First there's all the fuss to get to the airport; then you have to wind your way through security lines, remove your shoes, flying cape and ascot before being subjected to a quick round of body cavity x-rays.  Only then are you permitted to dress yourself, locate your gate and take a minute to relax before your flight is called for boarding.

Then it hits you: "How am I going to impress the person sitting next to me on the flight?"

Don't worry!  Fortunately for you, you will have read this post and you'll know exactly how to handle this precarious situation.  At home, before you leave for your flight, be sure to take with you one thing.

Procure a copy of this book:

Now, when wedged between a 350 pound Hummer salesman and an eighty-year-old grandmother, you won't come off as any common plane-flying dolt!  When settled in your seat pull out your copy of this Hungarian/English, English/Hungarian dictionary and take a good look at its sprawling text!  When the Hummer salesman asks about what kind of snacks are on the flight, roll your eyes and shrug with pained disdain.  When the grandmother asks if you're Hungarian, slam the book shut and drop your head as if your were praying for deliverance.  If prodded, mention that you're on your way to Hungary to speak with a Nobel winning nuclear physicist about radioactive isotopes and the half lives of cesium 134.  Then rub your eyes as if to silence the unforgiving background static and return to your book.

Ta-da!  You've done it.  Never again will you have to wonder about what to do on a flight!

Good luck!

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