Friday, July 6, 2007

10 Guidelines to Faking Smart!

The FSRI has asked that I post these ten guidelines to using this Faking Smart! in or around your place of work. If you are ever have any questions about Faking Smart! refer to the parameters listed below.

1. Use the Faking Smart! strategies and tactics because you should, not because you want to or because you have to.

2. The Faking Smart! strategies and tactics have been tested by the FSRI in professional, highly-controlled lab environments. If you have been faking smart while employed in a lab that contains toxins, explosives or biohazardous materials cease work immediately and call for help.

3. The Faking Smart! strategies and tactics are designed for the short-term benefit of its users. Any long-term exposure to any of the Faking Smart! programs may result in lasting cognitive damage.

4. Faking Smart! cannot and will not claim to be able to resolve all work-related problems or issues. In other words, Faking Smart! will never be able to tell you when you are hungry nor will it be able to inform you when your car's tire pressure is too low.

5. Never admit to a coworker or spouse that you are participating in a Faking Smart! program. By informing others of your use of this cutting-edge job-acceleration program you risk social alienation, malaise and public shame from those who fail to understand the complex theories on which Faking Smart! is based.

6. Never practice Faking Smart! alone.

7. Faking Smart! should not be considered a pyramid scheme, get-rich-quick program or a cure for agoraphobia. It has, however, proved to reduce symptoms of athletes foot and restless leg syndrome.

8. Faking Smart! is an advanced, results-based job-acceleration system--so advanced, in fact, that even the best business schools in the country refuse to acknowledge its existence.

9. Faking Smart! was not thought-up overnight. No. (It took quite a while, actually, to figure it out.)

10. Over a zillion people practice the Faking Smart! system each and every day. You should be proud to count yourself included in such an elite group of corporate go-getters.

Feel free to modify or change any of these guidelines as you see fit.


1 comment:

Sinister Dan said...

I shall unquestioningly follow your advice.

I will have more free time to chat when I get fired.