Friday, July 13, 2007

Landing the Job

So you have decided to take the plunge and find yourself a job in corporate America. Great! You've called your parents and estranged uncle and told them about your plans. You've alerted your MySpace or Facebook friends about your new resolution and you've told the clerk at the corner store about the big changes that are about to occur in your future. You're in a good mood. You've bought yourself some pickled herring and a bottle of Danish akvavit ...all you have to do is go home, turn on the TV and wait for your future plans to materialize.


While the FSRI is ever wary of promoting physical or metal exertion, we unfortunately have to insist that you actively participate in this phase of your corporate career. Getting a job is never as easy as you think - as we have seen, wanting a job can be even harder - but if you follow the simple-to-use Faking Smart! tactics we will get you through the job hunt and sitting at a cubicle in hardly any time at all!

Through extensive, post-modern research the FSRI has determined that there is one and only one way for you to obtain employment and here it is: You have to inform a company that you want a job.

Yes! It's that simple. When you tell company or corporation that you want a job the message comes across loud and clear ...that you are available for hire. The problem is there are also others trying to do the same thing - millions and millions of others competing for the same job that you might be looking for! And this is right where Faking Smart! enters the scene. Instead of standing side-by-side with this jostling mob of jeering job-seekers the FSRI has determined that you can get ahead of the crowd by following this short list of important suggestions. For the most part, instead of wasting your time finding the company that will hire you, fake smart and let that company find you!

The FSRI has the answers. Details in the next post...



Speedcat Hollydale said...

Dear Doctor Karl.....

I cannot wait for the next post. You have brought so many of my dreams alive already, and I am really excited to enter the corporate world to my fullest potential.
On the other hand, I am saddened that my blogging career is not going anywhere. My old dream was to overtake the #1 spot on technorati, but now - thanks to you - I can finally stop wasting my time with silly things. =:~)-|-<

Your BIGGEST fan, Speedcat Loggenfelder jr. III

Karl Wolfbrooks Ager said...

Mr. Speedcat Loggenfelder jr. III,

I don't know what this "technorati" system is, but I'm sure you're better off not having anything to do with it. As for your blogging career - speaking as someone who is new to the medium - I wouldn't trust it. Unless you have a full staff of blogging experts, as I do here with the FSRI, blogging can be dangerous fair. I suggest you find a good corporate job, excell and once you've reach a position with optimal "horizontal" potential, then, and only then, attempt to blog.

robkroese said...

It's true, nobody wants to hire someone who needs a job.