Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The Faking Smart! Secret Job-hunting Method

At last we come to the final method in our discussion about job-hunting.

For years now the FSRI has been researching and studying different strategies for getting an employee the corporate job he or she should be looking for. During this period we have also found it beneficial to develop and test our own job-hunting strategies and tactics. With the highest levels of scientific rigor, we have proposed hypotheses, tested out theories and then presented the statistics necessary to substantiate our initial assumptions. What we have revealed could easily be considered shocking. The Faking Smart! Secret Job-hunting Method is one of these ground-shattering discoveries.

Whether finding a job through cold calling, internet searches, networking or through temp agencies, the job-hunter has a range of tools at his or her disposal. Each of these methods, however, leads to a lengthy process of phone interviews, applications, drug-testing, resume submissions, face-to-face interviews and eventually salary negotiations - all time-consuming and energy-draining activities. When using the Faking Smart! Secret Job-hunting Method you circumvent this often beleaguering protocol!

A word of caution: While the Secret Job-hunting Method is best suited for entry-level company positions, it may be comfortably used at any tier of the corporate employee hierarchy. Also, when implementing the Secret Method be sure, as always, to adhere closely to the Faking Smart! guidelines.

The Faking Smart! Secret Job-hunting Method is this:

When you find out that a company has an opening for a particular position, simply put on some nice clothes, collect a few "office things" together in a small box and show up for work! Yes! it's that simple! When you hear of a job opening just show up and start working!

The hidden truth, discovered by the FSRI, is that human resource departments loath the hiring process. By simply entering the building, finding a cubicle or office and sitting down to work you are presenting yourself as a "corporate gift!" HR doesn't have to verify references, trudge through lengthy cover letters or get reports back on questionable urine samples ...and management doesn't have to steal valuable time away from what they do best - MANAGE!

When you show up and start work - absent the awkward emailing, interviewing and clumsy handshaking - you are telling the company that "you know the game! and you are eager to play." AND LOOK - YOU'VE ELIMINATED THE APPLICATION AND INTERVIEW PROCESS IN ONE FELL SWOOP! Sure, you may ruffle a few feathers, but just like a lost wildebeest relocating its herd, you're quickly assimilated and ready to rejoin the stampede!

So, there you have it - the long-awaited Faking Smart! Secret Job-hunting Method. This is just one of the thousands upon thousands of FSRI-developed business strategy methods, and the more of these strategies and methods you use in your daily business life the better and better you become at Faking Smart!


1 comment:

Speedcat Hollydale said...

I like this method, and look forward to the "first attempt" at landing gainfull employment using your technique. Even if I'm escorted out the door by security, it's fast, easy, and more appealing than all that job search malarchy. Not only that, but my adventures will make for great side stories in those dreaded "silent" times out with a woman.