Monday, June 25, 2007

The Spirited Protest (...getting a new PC at work.)

If various attempts at destroying your computer hasn't produced the desired results, or if putting a violent end to and unthinking plastic box is contrary to your pacifist nature, staging a protest may be the very thing that gets your boss's attention and gets you the computer you need.

There are many ways to protest your horrific work conditions--being "chained" to an under-powered computer system. Here are a few:

1. THE SIT-IN: When you arrive at work today write this message out with a Sharpie in large print on a 8x11 inch clean sheet of paper: "I REFUSE TO BE ABUSED WORKING WITH UNDER 2GIG OF RAM." Tape this sheet of paper to your display and then sit down on the floor, legs crossed and arms folded. Do not say a word. If asked what you are doing simply point to the message on your screen. Bring bottled water and some energy bars because you may find yourself on the floor for several hours.

(If the message you are trying to send to your boss gets misinterpreted, or if your boss calls security or the police to have you removed, jump up and say that you were only joking. Then try another protest method the next day.)

2. THE PETITION: Get as many people as possible to sign a petition in support of your getting a new computer at work. Go door-to-door in your neighborhood. Go to your county fair with a clip-board and get the word out. Create a website and state your grievances to the public and ask for email addresses of supporters. Finally, get the signatures of your coworkers and even signatures of people in businesses near you. You might even try to get executives from your own company to join in your petition. When you've collected 10,000 signatures ask your boss for a "quick" meeting and drop the bundle of signatures on his or her desk. This sends a powerful message that your talents are being under-served and you shouldn't be surprised if a new computer arrives at your desk that same day.

3. THE CONGRESSIONAL APPEAL: Write a letter to your national congressional representative or senator with the details of your plight. Mention how your great, great uncle fought for his country in the Spanish-American war, or mention your aunts "national service" in the Peace Corps and then press the official for quick action regarding your case.

4. INTERNATIONAL HELP: Solicit Amnesty International to include your dire situation in their global update. Mention the long hours of wasted browsing on the inter-web. Mention how antiquated your video card is and equate this moral outrage with greater human suffering. (This is a long shot, but it just may work. In a matter of days you may have the world press knocking down the door to get the scoop on your story.)

One additional method of protesting will be published on tomorrow's post. So don't go out and try the methods above just yet.


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