Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Spirited Protest II

I've mentioned a few methods of protesting against your old computer on Monday's post. Here, now, is the last method I'll bring up ...the last and most powerful method developed by our office strategies team at the FSRI.

Before you go into work on the day of this protest go out and purchase an old electric typewriter, circa 1960 ...the kind with the hard-shelled carrying case. You may find such a machine at a second hand store or you may have luck buying it through one of the many inter-web sales portals. When you arrive at work push your computer keyboard away with an expression of disgust, then drop your imposing piece of luggage in front of you, pop the releases and unfurl the power cord. Find a suitable outlet and then turn it on.

(You may want to give your typewriter a "test-drive" at home before bringing it in to work. Make sure the ink ribbon is operational--that it produces legible typeface--and that the "return" key brings the carriage back to the left margin. You should also have a supply of White-Out to manage any typographical errors.)

After powering up your typewriter load a clean sheet of paper and begin your work. The loud "clat, clat, clatter" from this old-school novelty will quickly draw attention and co-workers are sure to be intrigued by this powerful means of producing print. Once word spreads of the "wizardry" going on at your desk your boss's curiosity will be piqued. When she comes to investigate the cause of the disruption and discovers that you're not using your computer, simply state that boot-up time for the typewriter is instantaneous and that it's operating system is lighter and considerably faster than the old system you've been given. In short, manual type beats the sluggishness of your old, rusty PC. She'll get the message!

There may be a short wait while IT gets the order to deliver a new system to your desk. In the meantime, enjoy using this dandy old implement and revel in the by-gone days when everyone had such a contraption perched on their desk. WARNING: Do not attempt to send or receive email when using this devise. Also, any attempt at downloading or viewing videos while using an electric typewriter may result in company-wide system malfunctions. Be considerate of its limitations and cautious of misuse.


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