Getting back to Faking Smart!

Since this blog is about incorporating successful business tactics and strategies into your daily corporate life, we at the FSRI thought that we should shift gears here and concentrate exactly on this original goal.

Yes, Decateur Thoms has gained a limited degree of fame on this blog (...a fact he seems reluctant to thank us for,) and, yes, Mr. Jankowskowitz is never too shy to broadcast his eccentric and sometimes unsettling visage onto the screens of millions of viewers. But what these distinguished, yet at times overbearing, "characters" seem to be doing is distracting our content away from its initial purpose - that of teaching you how to fake smart!

The truth is, this is a serious blog with a serious mission ...a mission to promulgate the theories and practice of Faking Smart! to a broader public appreciation (...and to promote my book, which is under publisher negotiations right now ...but if you're a publisher and you want to "get in on the process" please, let me know.) This was the aim of this blog at its outset and this is the service we intend to continue to provide. No, Decateur and Jankowskowitz will not "disappear" from this blog, they will merely be playing less flamboyant and more subordinate roles. They have been informed and understand the situation.

With that out of the way, let's get back to business, and the business at hand is to get you off the couch and into the cubicle! The next several posts will discuss one of the most overlooked processes of landing a corporate job - the interview process.

Thanks,
KWA

Decateur's Weekly Business Roundup

Friday again!? ...Man. Guess I better make everyone happy and do the "roundup."

The markets are up, the markets are down. Up, down. Up, down. Hard to make sense of it, huh? This week I'm cutting my losses by going both bear and bull. Bear meaning sell, bull meaning buy. For the bear side of things let go of anything you own that starts with the letter "S": Sysco, Seagram, Starbucks ...if you got stock in a company that starts with "S" get rid of it. As for bullish investments, I'm going with the solid "M" equities. Microsoft, Michelin and Merck, etc... Anything with an "M" is as good as gold this week, as far as I can see. I know this advice is conservative, but when the markets are this wacky, I have no choice but to think on the safe side.

On the news front, there are a few items of interest that the investor should keep his or her eyes on. One such item is the spate of hurricanes that have hit the Caribbean and Gulf of Mexico in recent weeks. According to the Associated Press hurricane Humberto quickly gained strength before landing on the Texas coast yesterday. This means rain on the Texas plains, by all measures.

According to Reuters, because of the threat this hurricane posed to gulf oil production, oil hit its all time high this past week - $80 a barrel - before dipping to a more comfortable $79 late today. What does this all mean? Well, it means that if you're a pessimist, you'll dive into rain gear and roofing shingle equities on a hunch that this hurricane season will be downright nasty. This also means higher prices at the pump and a rise in oil product prices such as Oil of Olay. Look for weekend trips to stay closer to home and a drop in overall skin texture and condition.

On a final note, I want to make it clear that, with Brett Favre leading the Packers deft offense this season, there's no reason to believe that the Pack won't dominate the league. After their decisive dispatching of the Eagles last Sunday, there should remain no doubt that "the Pack is back!" I'm glad I'm not a Giants fan right now - feeling terror is not something I enjoy. My prediction: Pack 49, Giants 6. Tailgating season has begun! Look for a spike in bratwurst and cheese curd equities.

Thanks for reading my column. Whatever...

Decateur

Decateur's Weekly Business Roundup

Back for more of my business advice, I guess? Good luck...

Well, the markets were still mixed this week ahead of a critical jobs report due out today. The dark and looming cloud of the dicey mortgage situation still managed to cast a dark and gloomy shadow over investor confidence. My advice? Buy! I'm going bullish with this forecast. Go nuts and buy stocks and thank me when you cash in later in the month. Also, with the lunar eclipse behind us and the autumnal equinox only a couple of weeks away, I see a window of opportunity in bauxite futures. For all those fans of aluminum out there, you know what I'm talking about.

...So, on with my "roundup."

The sub-prime credit crisis seems to have a broader effect on jobs than first perceived. The NYT reports that "As Housing Market Cools, Far Fewer Become Agents." How this will immediately effect our economy remains to be seen, but what is evident is our country's apparent inability to recruit CIA and FBI agents. Look for stocks to fall for homing device, exploding pen and poison blow dart companies.

Which brings me to my next item. According to the NYT, Starbucks has opened its first coffee shop in Russia, allowing Muscovites a taste of what made Seattle the buzzing center of the coffee brewing universe. Two things might happen if Starbucks gains staying power in this feisty vestige of the former Soviet Union: look for Russian productivity levels to jump, and look for applications for the CIA to rebound. I'm sure any agent would feel better knowing he could down a steamy double-tall latte before a wintry, Gorky Park rendezvous with a Moscow mole.

Lastly, in more Northwest news, Boeing announced yesterday that it conducted a crash test of its new 787. According the Seattle Times the crash went well: ""We've done enough analysis at this point to declare success," said spokeswoman Lori Gunter. I've never flown before, and probably never will, but if Boeing continues to consider crashing 787s as a mark of success, look for a steep downturn in future Boeing equities and a downturn in the travel and vacation services sector.

That's the roundup...!

Probably see you next week.

Decateur

(Decateur Thoms is one of the most renowned graduates of the FSIHL (Faking Smart Institute for Higher Learning.) He is an expert thinker, commentator and columnist on a wide range of business subjects and he is recognized by the Faking Smart! Global Fund for his work in helping disadvantaged investors understand the current, global investment marketplace.)