Through a new branch of research, the FSRI has recently discovered this amazing information. The Corporate Ninja Code of Honor runs as follows:
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Through a new branch of research, the FSRI has recently discovered this amazing information. The Corporate Ninja Code of Honor runs as follows:
Monday, December 21, 2009
From everyone here at the FSRI, we extend our best wishes to you and yours. And, as always ...keep Faking Smart!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Even though we’ve advocated spending as little time as possible at your office (your assistant has been able to handle just about anything you’ve been required to do), today we want to emphasize how getting to work on time becomes an important rule to adopt as you make your move up the corporate ladder.
Why get to work on time, you may ask? Well, there are many reasons: first, you are better able to absorb developments as the collective hum of a typical business day unfolds if you’re there at its start; second, you demonstrate to others that you are committed to your work and that you are executing your job with a seriousness and determination that any valued and valuable employee should; third, creating routine is healthy, both mentally and physically, and excellent for your general well-being.
Come in early! Hey, if you can, get to work 15 to 30 minutes early to take advantage of that “quiet” moment before your office hits its hectic pace. Coming in before others do might also give you the opportunity to sit down and go over emails, check out important business-related updates …and perhaps this “moment of peace” will allow you to tackle impending projects and challenges with a fresh perspective.
Sometimes offices develop their own internal rythms and "start" time might be earlier or later depending on tradition or for reasons of practicality (some West Coast companies who have clients on the East Coast have to start their days earlier due to time differences--likewise, some East Coast companies who deal mostly with West Coast clients are forced to adjust.) Observe and adapt! Whatever the case, when you're at the office for a full day you are helpful, informed and most importantly "there" when called on to lend a hand!
blah, blah, blah, KWA
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Hey, what's up. Whatever...
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Watch live video from CAREEREALISM channel on Justin.tv
We're not sure who this Greg is, but he's clearly someone important. Nor does the FSRI have any idea what this "twittering" thing could be. If you know, please contact us!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
A recent post on CNN's career advice section discussed the idea of how small talk can help you with your career. We here at the FSRI were excited to add to and improve on this advice.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Hey, all ...whatever.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
The FSRI and K.W.A. are nearing the final stages of publishing a book on the acclaimed and controversial Faking Smart! Six-Week Program. While an exact publication date is, of yet, uncertain, we know with relative certainty that this book, containing the dangerous and subversive theories of Faking Smart!, will be available sometime in the near future (...and when we say "near" we mean, perhaps, some weeks or months from now.)
Saturday, April 25, 2009
“Propinquity may lead you into temptation.” The definition of “propinquity” is to be close to someone—in proximity—and what better place is there for this to occur than in an office environment? Work can, at times, call for intimate collaboration between coworkers as proposals approach midnight deadlines, presentations are outlined through tense and excitable conditions and projects are coordinated under secrecy and intrigue. We’ve all been there. Many times it’s only a matter of inches that separates a professional association from an outpouring of passion, (…or a slap in the face.) Most of the time one acts with restraint and professionalism, but sometimes rationality decides to break for lunch and, for better or worse, a romance is born.
While an office romance may seem exciting and adventurous, the thing you should be thinking of most is how this new relationship will affect your co-workers. If you relationship has advanced to the stage of PDAs (public displays of affection), it may be worth your while to know that others may find this practice annoying, if not disruptive and vulgar. Beyond the simple envy, jealousy and nausea your relationship may elicit, there are other degrees of fallout to your burgeoning office affair. While shrouded in the fog of love and lust, you may not realize it, but others may see your relationship as a shifting of the office’s political landscape with new blocks and alliances taking shape necessitating new avenues for diplomacy and maneuvering. If your adventure leads you into the arms of a “higher up,” the anxieties of your coworkers may be compounded and find expression in neuroses, paranoia and panic. At the time, you may be oblivious to these collective fears, but if you try to put yourself in the shoes of one of your team members—empathize—you’ll understand that their consternation is not without merit.
Here’s a basic way to look at things, if you find yourself in the middle of an office romance ask yourself this question: which is more important to you, your job or the relationship? If you decide that your job is more important than the relationship, then think about removing yourself from this lustful dalliance as quickly as possible. (Ideally, you should have avoided this situation at the start, and hopefully it’s not too late to avoid substantial harm.) In truth, this admission reveals the fundamental weakness of any hope for a long-term relationship, and rather than inflict pain and suffering on your immediate love interest (as well as your team), make the more mature decision and try to find external, outside-of-work outlets to satisfy your sexual energies. If you decide that your romantic relationship is more important than your job, then a different set of variables lies before you. If your instincts are reliable and you know a good thing when you see it, for your own sake and that of others, avoid the mistake many have made by attempting to grow the relationship “in-house” and work out between the two of you who is better positioned to leave the company and who has more advantages in staying. This is what may be considered a rational, adult conversation, and it takes into consideration the thoughts and realities of being romantically involved in a tight-knit work community. This may serve the interests of your coworkers and team, but it may come to benefit your own interests as well. In some ways, work can create undue pressures and strain on a relationship. The healthier option is often to keep home life and work life separate.
Whatever your situation, remember to tread carefully when the potential for an office romance introduces itself. While it is easy to forget what the repercussions may be, keeping a cool head will serve you in the long run. We all look for and desire that special someone to spend time with …to grow with and share important times of our lives. This is a universal truth. But there is a time and a place for everything, and you must ask yourself if the disruption imposed by an office romance is worth the trouble it may create for you and those you work with.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
There is an old axiom in the computer field: garbage in, garbage out. If you throw bad information into a computer program, you’re likely to get bad information back. Likewise, in your life, if you’re overdoing it with junk food, stimulants (energy drinks, cigarettes, etc…) and alcohol you are destined to wind up unemployed, unloved, depressed and possibly dead. If your not throwing out sell orders on the floor of the stock exchange, you have no excuse for running yourself into the dirt, so do what you can to modify your diet to include plenty of fruits and vegetables, reduce the amount of red meat you eat and keep your intake of alcohol and tobacco to a minimum. (“Everything in moderation,” runs the saying.)
As far as exercising goes, try to get in 4, 20-25 minute sessions of aerobic training per week. This is a perfect amount to keep you sprite and spry and on your toes. If your are the kind of person that finds it excruciating to strap on a pair of running shoes and hit the road, maybe being wired to an iPod while dominating an orbital is more your gig? Membership in a gym, with its professional environment geared toward physical fitness, might be exactly what you need to give you that extra kick in the shorts. Don’t forget, exercise can be a group activity as well, with many organizations in your community advocating different types of active recreation. Join a bike club. Join a ski club. Join a swimming club. Join a hiking club!
Why go to these lengths? To be clear, it’s no exaggeration that a sound body promotes a sound mind, and mental clarity and focus is key in becoming a successful person both at work and away from it. It’s all about balance, and with a little self-discipline in terms of what you put in your body and how active you are with it, you are laying the groundwork for achieving whatever it is you put your mind to.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
It's true, most resumes today are sent over the internets in tiny, microscopic digital code, with data so delicate and frail that they immediately turn to vapor after being "sent" out into the global information maelstrom. This is a sad, yet real problem, and millions of job-seekers suffer the same plight.
The FSRI has devised a fail-proof solution to this common dilemma:
CREATE THE BIGGEST RESUME EVER!
...And when we say "the biggest", we mean THE BIGGEST! Just as the Great Wall of China and the Hoover Dam can be viewed from space, so should your resume. Find a large tract (say 100 sq miles, or so) of corn or wheat field in any of the Mid-Western states and get to work. Start up the combine and carve your resume into the great swaths of the North American bread basket! When you're done, track your resume down on Google Earth or MSN's TerraServer and then send the link to the companies you like and watch as the job offers pour in! Who knows, with any luck you may even get an interstellar-passerby to shoot you a response!
"Think big," advises the FSRI. "The bigger your resume, the bigger your chances are in getting the job!"
Friday, February 6, 2009
Here are some steadfast tips from the FSRI on how to obtain employment under today's tumultuous economic conditions. Over the next couple of weeks we'll re-cap some of the proven ways for prospective employees to stake their claim in an increasingly difficult job market.
Remember, when you are looking for a job you are competing with millions of other job-seekers. Take a different route and make that company to find you!
Here is one way to achieve it:
Coordinate and hold a job fair!
Everyone knows that a standard method for employers to find employees is to meet over the neutral ground of a job fair. In YOUR job fair, however, you take center stage. Come up with a glossy pamphlet outlining the annual AAHA (Association for the Advancement of Hireable Applicants) job fair to take place in your local town or city. (You might want to create a website to support this event.) Then, send your pamphlets out to Fortune 100 companies with the event specifics: dates and location, directions, etc... On that morning, before the fair is to begin, set up your "reception" desk (with plenty of extra resumes to go around) in the middle of the conference room floor. When the fair begins watch how these corporate recruiters descend on you, the only job-seeker present, like vultures. None of these representatives wish to return home with empty hands! Be mindful, however, of the position you finally accept. If you are offered a chemical engineering position at "corporation X", for example, you might want to be sure that your background and education suits such a job description.
Good luck and keep a positive attitude. Remember, this is a job you're trying to get and the repercussions may involve hours, weeks, months and years of commitment and hard work. If your up to the task, you're exactly where you need to be!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Due to current economic exigencies, the operations team, after cursory review, has concluded that a number of services provided to your floor personnel will be either reduced or fully eliminated. Effective tomorrow:
1. No more heating will be provided to the main floor room. Encourage employees to dress in layers (wool is effective), wear hats and to take a quick laps around the office if an increase body
2. To conserve on electricity and water usage, bathrooms will be off limits to floor personnel. For this to work discourage the drinking of beverages during office hours—especially coffee! (In fact we recommend a complete ban of coffee on the floor to help accommodate this change.) If an employee absolutely needs to use the toilet, suggest that they use a peanut butter jar or use allotted break time to leave the building and seek a public facility nearby.
4. All lights (excluding manager's lights) will be turned off during business hours. Personnel will be required to bring a flashlight or battery powered lantern, or other suitable, approved lighting apparatuses to their workstations. Overhead lighting WILL be provided ten minutes before opening and ten minutes before closing, to safely illuminate walkways and to ensure employees find their seats.
5. All employees will be required to purchase and utilize their own computer systems. IT will assist in setting up and connecting these systems with the compa
6. Printers will be disconnected and disabled. Insist that, from now on, all copies will be hand written.
7. All stock office materials, i.e. pens, paper, paperclips etc… must be purchased and provide by personnel. Any existing stock will be removed and donated to the humane society.
The break room will be locked and off limits during business hours. Its purpose will be reserved exclusively for employee interrogations.