FSRI-Global Opens New Office in Spiral-like Building in Downtown Seattle

We're all happy here at the FSRI to announce our newest office building in the Pacific Northwest. Come to our "meet and greet" cookout next Thursday if you can, and feel free to bring a friend!

This new office will serve, mostly, as a logistics hub for FSRI-Global, a new FSRI division handling local, regional, state, national, and global information.

Wednesday is National Professional Assistant's Day

Hey, everybody. Haven't been posting for a while, but, whatever...

So, KWA wanted me to remind everyone that there's a national holiday coming up next week. For any and all who have national professional assistant, Wednesday is the day you should recognize that person.

Now, at present, I, personally, don't have an assistant. But that doesn't mean that I'm not important! Not at all. Actually, I'm pretty important when it comes to a lot of stuff, but I just don't want an assistant coming around and messing up my desk and all that. I got enough to worry about.

So, I guess that is it. I gotta get back to my raiding party on World of Warcraft right now. Some serious s&*t is going down, and I gotta have enough mana potions to get through this raid.

OUT

Lin Yu Chun Wins FSRI Talent Search!

We are proud to announce the FSRI winner in our annual Faking Smart! Universal Talent Search!

The winner is: Lin Yu Chun, of Taiwan. After his performance on Tainwan TV last night, our panel was left speechless. No other contestant came close to Lin's performance.

Congratulations Lin! You've won our hearts, now just show up at our April Class FSIHL commencement ceremony (per your contract) and all is good! BTW ...WE LOVE YOUR HAIRCUT!

Welcome Back Tiger!

If there's a competitor out there who represents corporate determination, instinct and the ability to seal the deal, it's Tiger Woods. We here at the FSRI wish him well and that all that other stuff (that crazy stuff that no one should worry themselves about) is quickly forgotten. In the meantime, we will continue to court his good name for a right to sponsor his appearance at the next Master's Tournament. Yes, it's true, the FSRI is in near-final talks with representatives on closing a deal that would bring the FSRI, the FSIHL and all our affiliate to world attention during this, our greatest of golfing events.

Go get 'em Tiger!

KWA

FSRI APOLOGIZES FOR BLOG POST

Philadelphia--In a move that surprised internet blogging fans, the FSRI (Faking Smart! Research Institute) announced late today that its blog division published a blog post last week that might have caused some consternation. What appeared to be a blog post composed entirely of one run-on sentence was, in fact, a post inadvertently released by the division's new, yet unapproved, automated blog post generator.

"To put it simply, this took us all by surprise." said Carrol Owens, VP of Blogging and Publicity. "No one in the blogging division was impressed by the trial phase of the post generator. Why this last post got out is a question we have solve through normal investigative channels."

When asked if a mistake like this was likely to happen again, Ms. Owens was confident that it wouldn't. "We've powered down the post generator, " she said. "Two VPs from the blogging research lab have been put on administrative leave. The likelihood of this re-occuring is about the same as a health care bill passing congress this year, " she laughed.

The FSRI is one of the most famous institutes of modern business studies in the world. The FSRI recently opened a new office in Ankara, Turkey.

Please Read This Important Information:

no matter what you do for your company the outcome of your work boils down to how well you process information understanding your role as a processor of information will help give you a keener understanding of your own specific work responsibilities while allowing you to see how information in a broader sense influences the failure or success of your company your primary objective as an employee is to take in information filter it apply it and then finally analyze and evaluate it whether or not you are the president of the company a member of the marketing team or operations team or working the night shift in customer service each of these people has the equal task of being presented with information and acting upon it EXAMPLE say a frustrated and angry customer calls in to complain about a certain feature your software company we’ll call your company a software company in this example provides in one of its applications with good training and good instincts the customer service agent will quickly categorize this complaint in a number of ways is it a user end hardware problem a user-end operations system problem a poor description of the feature in the applications literature or is it a flaw in the software design his is the phase of taking in and filtering information after diffusing the caller’s exasperation the agent recalls a similar scenario documented a week earlier involving a different client the case was nearly identical to the current case and after going over past notes the agent is able to quickly resolve the customer’s complaint and close the case with a happy and satisfied clienst is this agent’s work completed now two scenarios where customers have expressed dissatisfaction about inadequate feature descriptions in the software literature the agent sees a pattern developing and out of diligence reports this deficiency to the supervisor his is the analyzing phase of the information path and it serves the company in the agent’s perspective to stave off further complaints and to generate better customer service now someone else has information to take in filter apply analyze and evaluate the supervisor with good judgement and good training now has to filter this information and decide what course of action to take can the agent now consider his or her work on this case finished did notifying the supervisor of the pattern of disgruntled clients produce any significant result this is the evaluative phase of that source of information a good agent may with a comprehensive understanding of the company’s communicative pipeline wait to see what the results of his or her report produced are there an increasing number of callers sounding out the same concerns another report to the supervisor …and still no modification to the literature or online update at this point the frustration level of the agent might be forgiven and a couple of outcomes may result first the agent a quality employee may grow increasingly indifferent to acting on important information and eventually seek employment where his or her services receive greater respect second the employee grows indifferent to discovering and identifying critical developing issues with products and becomes a ZOMBIE employee the employee is there out with no heart in the game or third the employee may find other ways to circumvent the supervisor’s inability to influence the necessary changes there may be an internet forum where some of these problems can be addressed or the agent may have a friend in another company department where concerns about poor literature can be vented and acted upon what we will never understand in the above scenario (looking at it from the agent’s perspective) is what the supervisor was experiencing in other words are other more pressing problems occupying the supervisor’s list of things to get done regarding the software that the agent is unaware of or is the supervisor running into a brick wall—getting nowhere—as he or she tries to relay to the product development team the importance of the agent’s advice it’s hard to tell but the third option for the agent—going through an internet forum or talking to someone outside of customer service—seems like one of the best ways to constructively approach the problem so there you have it follows then that information equals power—when applied good information i.e. filtered information once accurately analyzed and evaluated gives the power to inform decision making and informed decisions determine whether a company is able to sink or swim in the precarious and ever shifting landscape of the marketplace

We hope you understand what was said in the above text...

KWA

10 REASONS TO BE HAPPY THAT YOU OWN A TOYOTA!

With the winter weather giving America a good old fashioned sock in the kisser, we here at the FSRI thought we'd share some of our secret research on today's troubled carmaker. Our research came to the following conclusions about people who own late-model Toyotas:

1. No more coworkers bothering you for a ride to work.

2. Speeding tickets are now a thing of the past. You've got a star witness in the federal government!

3. Climbing into your Prius is just like turning on an EA racing game on your PC.

4. Hitchhikers will shake their heads and wave you by.

5. You become the center of attention when boarding a car ferry.

6. The MacDonald's order window is now a test of existential courage.

7. No more feeling guilty for not picking up that hitchhiker? You couldn't have stopped for him anyway...!

8. No more anxieties about losing control of your car while driving in bad weather.

9. Your car is now a tool of coercion: If you kids don't finish their homework, tell them you'll be taking them to school tomorrow in ...THE CAMRY!

10. It's a great conversation piece.

Drive Safe, the FSRI