FSRI TO SELL KINDLE VERSION OF FAKING SMART! FOR $.99!

Hello, everyone!,


The FSRI wishes to announce that, due to an accounting error, we have overstocked our Kindle version of Faking Smart!  To free up warehouse space in our Detroit distribution center, he have decided to release these coveted editions for a price so low that online retailers are quaking in their corporate cubicles.


If you buy your Kindle version of Faking Smart! today, you will pay only $0.99!  But do not hesitate..!  These books are selling fast, and once we have reduced our stock to "pre-accounting error" numbers, the price is sure to jump.  


BUY NOW, and get a copy of the book someone once called "The most astounding collection of words ever assembled!"


Cheers,
The FSRI

FSRI WISHES EVERYONE A HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Have a great Halloween, everyone!  The FSRI also wants to extend its best to each and every employee that helped put together this year's FSRI ALL HALLOWS' EVE Celebrity Football Game - FOR KIDS' SAKE Celebration!  We are grateful for all who attended and give our sincerest apologies to all the children who wound up in intensive care with bone injuries.  Next year's game will certainly be flag football instead of tackle.  ;-)

FSRI OFFICIAL MEMO: Remember, all full and part time FSRI employees (including contract workers) must come to work both Monday and Tuesday.  Failure to do so will result in termination.


Thank you, and have a wonderful (ghoulish) weekend!


the FSRI

SPINNER WRESTLES CONTROL OF FSRI

Tom Spinner Jr.

NEEDHAM, ENGLAND - The FSRI has announced early this morning from their Northern European headquarters that Tom Spinner Jr., former head of Widget Technologies Inc., has replaced Harry Jankowskowitz as acting CEO.  When asked to comment on Jankowskowitz's abrupt departure, Ella Foster, V.P. of Media Relations, said that she wasn't at liberty to discuss the leadership change, but that "the FSRI was fully operational and no one should really be worrying about it.  Our offices are still open!"


Spinner's ascendancy to the top post at the FSRI has come as a surprise to many.  His appointment marks second leadership change in as many months for the post formerly held by FSRI founder Karl Wolfbrooks Ager while Ager is away for reasons of "unspecified" travel.  Spinner is set to give a brief press conference at the end of the week.

SPINNER TO HOLD PRESS CONFERENCE

WINDHOEK, NAMIBIA - Tom Spinner Jr., FSRI executive and challenger to Harry Jankowskowitz's leadership position, has announced that he will be giving a press conference within the next two days.  No other information was given.  At the time of this brief, no one at Spinner's office was available for comment.


It is widely believed that Spinner has been making a move to replace Jankowskowitz as head of the FSRI, but Jankowskowitz's office had denied this claim.

SPINNER AND JANKOWSKOWITZ CLASH

QUEBEC CITY, QUEBEC - Two top FSRI officials clashed on Friday in what appears to be a struggle for leadership of the organization.  Sources say that Tom Spinner Jr., former CEO of Widget Techonolgies Inc., confronted Jankowskowitz during a late board meeting yesterday arguing, more or less, that Jankowskowitz leadership style would soon sink the FSRI and that he should abdicate.


When Jankowskowitz's office was contacted for comment, none was forthcoming.


The FSRI has been in trouble as of late due to Karl Wolfbrooks Ager's departure as chief.   The power struggle for control of the FSRI has sent investors scurrying and has further destabilized a fragile Euro.

JANKOWSKOWITZ FIRES SENIOR STAFF

DURBAN, SOUTH AFRICA - The FSRI has just announced that Harry Jankowskowitz, acting CEO of the FSRI during Ager's sabbatical, has released all senior staff effective immediately.  No reason was giving for these terminations other than a short announcement given by the Department of Media Relations stating that "necessary changes were in order."

This shake-up at the FSRI took many by surprise and shareholders have been vocal with their concerns over the changes taking place while K. W. Ager, CEO and founder of the FSRI, makes a short trip to the future.  "We're going to wait and see what is going on and then make adjustments on an as needed basis," says investment analyst Clive Shorter.  "We would all like to see Ager wrap up his trip and come back to the current time.  Until then, we'll just have to hope for the best."

Many eyebrows were raised when Ager appointed of Harry Jankowskowitz to run the FSRI while it's founder was away.  Consensus regards his resume as woefully lean, with no experience at running a company the size of the FSRI.  Jankowskowitz is said to be a firm adherent to most of Ager's business theories, but it remains to be seen whether or not his actions can match his reputation.

JANKOWSKOWITZ TO MAKE ANNOUNCEMENT

UPPSALA, SWEDEN - Harry Jankowskowitz, Acting CEO of the FSRI, will soon be giving an announcement regarding the FSRI daily operations.  No further information is given at this time.